Preheat your oven to 425°F (220°C). While it's heating up, grab your favorite baking sheet. Line it with parchment paper if you're feeling fancy (or lazy about cleaning).
Prep the chicken breasts – if they're super thick, slice them horizontally or pound them to an even thickness (about ¾ inch). Because nobody wants to bite into chicken that's both overdone and raw at the same time. Culinary paradox avoided!
Make the marinade/sauce by whisking together olive oil, minced garlic, lemon zest, lemon juice, herbs, salt, pepper, red pepper flakes (if using), and honey in a bowl. Take a moment to smell it – that's the scent of dinner victory.
Place the chicken on your baking sheet and brush with half the marinade. Make sure you really slather it on there – this is no time for moderation.
Arrange asparagus around the chicken in a single layer. Drizzle the remaining marinade over the asparagus, tossing to coat. Pro tip: If your asparagus stalks are thick, give them a head start in the oven for 5 minutes before adding the chicken.
Bake for 18-22 minutes until chicken reaches 165°F (74°C) internal temperature and asparagus is tender but still slightly crisp. Thinner chicken breasts might cook faster, so keep an eye on them! Nobody likes dry chicken – it's the culinary equivalent of a bad joke.
Let the chicken rest for 5 minutes before serving. Garnish with lemon slices and any remaining fresh herbs. Look at you, being all chef-like with your garnishes!