Prepare your carrots. Peel those orange beauties, then use the peeler to create long, thin strips lengthwise. Keep going until you've turned the entire carrot into ribbons. Think of it as carrot carpaccio.
Steam them to submission. Place the carrot ribbons in a steamer basket and steam for about 5-7 minutes. You want them tender but not mushy – they should bend easily but not disintegrate when you pick them up. Nobody wants carrot mush on their bagel.
Mix the marinade. In a shallow dish, whisk together the olive oil, liquid smoke, soy sauce, rice vinegar, maple syrup, crumbled nori (or kelp flakes), smoked paprika, black pepper, dill, and caper brine. It'll smell amazing – that's how you know it's working.
Marinate those strips. When the carrots are still warm (but not hot), carefully place them in the marinade, ensuring each piece gets coated. Cover and refrigerate for at least 2 hours, but preferably overnight. This is where patience pays off, people.
Assembly time! Toast your bagels to golden perfection. Spread each half generously with vegan cream cheese. Layer on your carrot lox – don't be stingy, this is your moment to shine.
Add the finishing touches. Scatter thin red onion slices, sprinkle with capers, add fresh dill sprigs, a crack of black pepper, and a squeeze of lemon. Voilà – vegan brunch excellence achieved!