Crush those cookies like they insulted your favorite TV show. Use a food processor or the good old ziplock bag and rolling pin method.

Mix the crumbs with melted butter, sugar, and salt until it resembles wet sand. Is there anything more satisfying than butter-soaked cookie crumbs? I think not.

Press the mixture firmly into your tart pan, creating an even layer on the bottom and up the sides. Use the bottom of a measuring cup to really pack it in there – we're going for structural integrity here, people.

Chill the crust for 20 minutes while you contemplate how something so simple can be so delicious.

Heat the heavy cream in a saucepan until it's just about to simmer. Turn off the heat immediately – we're not making caramel here.

Add the chopped white chocolate to the hot cream and let it sit for 2 minutes. This is a great time to check Instagram or text back that friend you've been ignoring.

Stir until smooth and the chocolate is completely melted. If you have stubborn chunks, microwave in 5-second bursts, stirring between each.

In a separate bowl, beat the softened cream cheese until fluffy, then gradually add the white chocolate mixture and both extracts. Mix until smooth and lump-free. (Nobody wants to bite into a cream cheese boulder, trust me.)

Pour this heavenly mixture into your chilled crust and smooth the top with a spatula. Tap the pan gently on the counter to remove any air bubbles – we're professionals here.

Refrigerate for at least 2 hours or overnight if you're planning ahead like the organized adult you occasionally pretend to be.

When the filling is set, warm the raspberry preserves and water in a small saucepan until fluid.

Add the lemon juice and stir until everything's incorporated.

Let the mixture cool slightly, then gently toss about ¾ of your fresh raspberries in it. This gives them that gorgeous glossy look that screams "I'm fancy!"

Arrange the coated raspberries on top of your tart. You can go for a precise pattern or the "artfully scattered" look if precision isn't your thing.

Place the remaining fresh raspberries on top and sprinkle with chopped pistachios if using. The color contrast here is absolutely Instagram-worthy.